Give me a revelation!

28 Mar

For the past year or so, I’ve really been struggling through what the point to life is, especially my life. Why am I here? What am I supposed to be doing? No matter how long I think about or who I talk to or how much I read the Bible and pray about it, I can’t escape the feeling that I’m supposed to be doing more with my life.

For the past week (though it’s by no means an isolated incident), this feeling has completely overwhelmed me. I feel depressed and lethargic. I don’t feel happy. I don’t feel like myself. The only way I can really describe it is that I want to escape from my life. I want my life to be different but have no idea what different is. I want to do more but don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing.

Some people have said “Just do something. It doesn’t matter what it is.” I also came to that conclusion once upon a time (you may even be able to find a blog post of mine echoing that same sentiment). But I have come back around to the conviction that it’s just not that easy. See, I don’t want to just be “doing things.” I want to be doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I want to fulfill God’s purpose for me and no matter how much I beg and plead for Him to give me insight and guidance, He is disturbingly silent on the whole issue. I am so entirely confused and clueless about my life and yet my hands are tied because God holds all the answers.

When I first heard Third Day’s new song, Revelation, I felt like it was the cry of my soul. I feel like shouting these words at God. This is my heart! I’m admitting that I need You and can’t do anything without You! Do You not hear me? Why are you leaving me all alone to figure this great mystery out all by myself? The Christian life is supposed to be about joy (or so I’ve heard). Then why do I find myself in the pits of despair? And why do I feel abandoned by God?

I know the “correct” answers: God hasn’t abandoned me and never will. The Christian life involves immense sorrow as well as joy. God is sanctifying me and giving me answers in His own perfect timing and sovereign way.

I cling to the truth of those words, despite the seeming contradiction of my current experience.

My life has led me down the road that’s so uncertain
And now I am left alone and I am broken,
Trying to find my way,
Trying to find the faith that’s gone

This time, I know that you are holding all the answers
I’m tired of losing hope and taking chances,
On roads that never seem,
To be the ones that bring me home

Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I’ve been trying to find my way,
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I’ve got nothing without You
I’ve got nothing without You

My life has led me down this path that’s ever winding
Through every twist and turn I’m always finding,
That I am lost again
Tell me when this road will ever end

Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I’ve been trying to find my way,
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I’ve got nothing without You
I’ve got nothing without…

I don’t know where I can turn
Tell me when will I learn
Won’t You show me where I need to go
Oh oh
Let me follow Your lead,
I know that it’s the only way that I can get back home

Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I’ve been trying to find my way,
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I’ve got nothing without You
I’ve got nothing without You

Oh, give me a revelation…

I’ve got nothing without You
I’ve got nothing without You

One Response to “Give me a revelation!”

  1. Jessie March 28, 2009 at 10:54 am #

    Hi, i came across your blog after following my tag surfer..In January i had some issues ..i went back home and my younger brother played this song a loud on his PC one day…I felt ‘touched’ by the song, copied it from him and had been listening to it often since…

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