I feel like 6 months postpartum deserves an update. So here’s how things are going:
Taking into account the fact that I am a lot less active now than I was pre-pregnancy, I feel like I can say that I am more or less back to normal. Update on a few weird side effects of pregnancy that I haven’t talked about before (because I forgot to!):
- My arms used to go numb really easily, but that has gone away.
- My knees used to really hurt whenever I squatted/sat down, but I realized this was from squatting/lunging weird while holding a baby upright. I’m trying to lunge/squat properly now.
- I couldn’t lay on my left side without my stomach hurting. This has gotten better, though it hasn’t completely disappeared.
- I still have the linea negra, but it’s fading slowly.
My face acne has gotten a lot better, and I’m guessing that the difference now from pre-pregnancy is that I’m no longer on a birth control pill that contains estrogen. Boo on acne at age 30!
I’ve been sleeping enough hours at night for long enough now that I feel like a normal human being almost always, so that has been nice. I still LOVE when it’s time for bed though! If it weren’t for my current obsession with How I Met Your Mother on Netflix, I would go to bed at the same time Emma does.
Body Weight / Image
I got on the scale yesterday morning and surprisingly, it read only about 1.5 lbs above my pre-pregnancy weight. But when I got pregnant, I was in marathon shape. I was muscular. So it’s not really comparing apples and apples to say I’m back to that weight. But it’s something! And I can fit into more and more of my pre-pregnancy clothes as the months go by. I have realized, though, that a lot of my shirts from then were short-ish and tight, so I’m not sure if I’ll ever wear them again. Some shirts and dresses still don’t fit over the milk-makers. I now buy shirts in size Large. It doesn’t bother me, but it just wasn’t something I expected. I did expect my feet to grow, but they didn’t. I’m still the same size there (which I appreciate because I hate shoe shopping!).
In my 12 Weeks Postpartum post, I talked about wanting to eat better. Hmm… that has gotten slightly better, though it still definitely needs improvement. Before I got pregnant, I was good about balance. If I wanted a glass of wine, I’d skip the chocolate. If we were eating out for dinner, I’d have a healthy lunch. But ever since pregnancy gave me (almost) free rein, I let myself have wine, chocolate AND a big dinner. It’s so hard to say no! (And yes, breastfeeding does give me a LITTLE more leeway than normal but not that much!)
I haven’t gotten back into exercise as much as I had been hoping to, but now that Emma can go to the gym childcare, I’m excited to start going to classes and stuff again! I miss feeling active and fit. The whole moving to Minnesota thing has kind of thrown my plans for a half marathon up into the air, but I’m going to start training in November anyway. I need a goal. I think I’ll try to do a 10K in December too.
But overall, in regards to body weight and image, I really feel very comfortable with where I’m at right now. I mean, as long as I don’t have to wear a bikini
ever again anytime soon.
I’ll admit that it took me a LONG time to adjust to being a mom. I had a hard time giving up my freedom and rest – not being able to run errands when I wanted, train for races, veg on the couch at night, go on trips we’ve always talked about, cook dinner, read a book, spend time with hubby alone or sleep a full 8 hours. Slowly, I have found ways to still include these things in my life. I can plan meals during her nap. I do laundry while she bounces in her jumperoo. We run errands together when Emma is awake. (Again I say, things have gotten so much easier as Emma has gotten older! I couldn’t put her down for the first 2 months of her life due to her feeding issues.)
But still, some days, Emma demands it all. I don’t have either the time or energy to get everything done. So I’ve learned PRIORITIES. I choose 2-3 things that need to get done and stick to those. This past Monday, it was 1) Take Emma to her 6-month appointment 2) Take Emma’s 6-month pictures and 3) Bring dinner to our friends who just had a baby. I was able to get all of that done on Monday, but some days, even that doesn’t happen. My post about learning to let things go has been a great reminder to me about trusting God with my to-do list. He’s got it under control, so I don’t have to.
I loved Emma since the moment she was born, but having a new baby was so challenging that I didn’t feel love for her a lot of the time. In the past month or so, though, God has graciously made my heart overflow with love for Emma. It’s now a treat when I can rock her to sleep, and just stare at her little face. I love hugging her, kissing her face, and listening to her coo and shriek in her own little way. I look forward to picking her up after being at work all day. (Though nights without Travis home still intimidate me.)
Our trip to Minnesota a couple weeks ago reminded me of how hard those first 2 months were. No wonder I felt so overwhelmed and discouraged! Having a baby who cries a lot and refuses to be put down is HARD. It’s hard to enjoy your baby and new role as a mom in the midst of that. And that’s where I was until Emma was about 5 months.
I’m finally at a place where I enjoy being a mom (most days). I’m still looking forward to being able to do more things with Emma, like go to the playground, museum, library, movies, etc. but she’s learning and engaging with new things everyday, which is fun. I have also really enjoyed being back at work part-time. It does make life a little bit crazier, but it helps me really enjoy the days I am at home with Emma.