While having dogs for 4 years and being around young kids often, I’ve noticed a few similarities…
1. They always want whatever toy someone else has. Doesn’t matter if they thought their squeaker was the coolest thing ever 5 seconds ago – it is now lame sauce.
2. They run around in short bursts of intense energy and then crash hard. Only difference – dogs voluntarily sleep about 20 hours every day.
3. Everyone has an opinion about how they should be trained/raised. My dogs don’t walk beside me on a leash because I don’t care enough to train them, but I always feel like I’m going to get chastised by someone more dog-savvy.
4. If they misbehave in public, you feel like a bad parent. Sorry, we’re still working on teaching Charlie to not jump up. Or Katy to not run out the front door. Or both dogs to not go berzerk when the doorbell rings.
5. You’re more concerned about their health and nutrition than your own. I don’t measure out my own food to make sure I’m not eating too much.
6. They wake you up in the morning several hours before you want to get up. Always.
7. You clean up their messes, bodily and otherwise. Can I just say “EW” and “You never get used to it”?
8. Their safety and well-being keep you awake at night. This is especially true when they are puppies. “Does she need to go out?” “Does she think I’ve abandoned her?” “Is that her whining, or my imagination?”
9. You feel bad for not spending all your time with them. But sometimes you just need a freaking break already.
10. You plan your day around them. “Well, we should probably drive 20 minutes home and 20 minutes back to this same area, so that we can let the dogs out.” “Well, we should probably drive around aimlessly for 40 minutes so that Emma can take a nap.”
11. You talk to them in a baby voice and kiss them on the head. Hey, they’re cute!
12. You and your spouse have to be agreed and consistent on how to discipline them. Mixed signals are never a good thing.
13. They constantly want attention. Wherever you go, there they are.
14. They decide that the perfect time to bring out every toy they own is when you have guests over. “It’s a little hard to hear over all the squeaking you’re making!”
15. Their adorableness makes your anger melt every time. Who can stay mad at that face?
16. They can make a clean house dirty in an impressively short amount of time. Tell me, how does dog hair get into the freezer?
17. They like to cuddle. Little space heaters.
18. They don’t let you have anything nice or valuable for long. It all gets chewed on eventually.
19. They are easily entertained. A plain bone occupies them for hours.
20. You do things with and for them that you wouldn’t do otherwise. The number of walks I gone on has increased exponentially since getting dogs.
Dog owners and parents, can you think of any more?