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2020 Focus: Perspective

17 Feb

Can I write a post about my word for 2020 when it’s already the middle of February?

Too bad, I am.

My word for 2019 was Rest, and I’m not going to lie: I pretty much failed at it. Apparently, rest is not something that comes naturally to me (though I am a lover of naps). But since this post is about 2020 and not 2019, we’ll just leave it at that.

My “word for 2020” is Perspective. It’s actually kind of similar to my focus for 2016: Behold Your God, especially this quote from Glennon Melton: “I don’t want a new better life in [2020]. I just want new eyes to see that my life is already staggeringly beautiful.”  (Momastery, Best New Year’s Ever)

New eyes. A fresh perspective. 20/20 vision. (see what I did there?) Hindsight in the present.

November and December of 2019 were rough. ROUGH. I alluded to that here. And going to therapy has been helping. So has re-reading Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts again. Because what is my problem? What has it always been, and will always be?

The problem of all humanity — ingratitude.

Stomping my foot like a tantruming child, demanding my life be different. No, this isn’t the life I want. I want THAT one. The one I can conjure up in my head. You know, the one that’s only roses and rainbows, and involves none of the crap I have to deal with on a daily basis.

But that life doesn’t exist. I know this. The life I want is the glorified life, the life that only exists in heaven. I am yearning for heaven. And I will experience that one day, all praise to Jesus.

For now, I’m here, stuck in the catch-22. I can’t imagine a life without my kids, a life in which I am no longer a mom, and yet being a mom unhinges me some days. It’s this life of wife and mom that often threatens my sanity, but there is no universe in which I could just walk away.

So my biggest need, the solution to my biggest problem, is PERSPECTIVE. Do I view my family as a burden, a hindrance from my true potential, from the life I could’ve had? Or do I view them as my blessing, God’s chosen purpose for my life? My family are who they are. Parenthood is what it is. How am I choosing to look at it?

It is a choice. Gratitude does NOT just happen. Like Ann Voskamp says, ingratitude is humanity’s natural bent. Left alone, we are miserable messes, always focused on the thing withheld.

Gratitude is not just giving thanks, though that is valuable and necessary. It is above all looking for how God is at work in any and every situation. How God can use all things for good. When we give thanks to God for everything, even the hard things, we are demonstrating trust in Him. If we truly trust God, we will be thanking Him for every thing. “All is grace, because all can transfigure” (Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts).

We’re a month and a half into 2020 already, and I’ve already seen this practice of gratitude, of sleuthing for grace, infuse my life with renewed passion, energy, and yes, joy. Now the key will be: CONTINUE. Don’t stop being intentionally thankful.

So, 20/20 vision. Perspective.