Tag Archives: women

Men, women and dishes

5 Jul

{While I’m getting rained on in Ketchikan, Alaska, please enjoy these posts from the archives and random thoughts library of Life, Really.}

–Originally posted May 8, 2008–

This could go for just about any aspect of cleaning but this morning it happened to be involving dishes.

I typically get up about 30-45 minutes earlier than Travis. It takes me about 15-20 minutes to shower, do my hair and makeup, and get dressed (+10 minutes if I have nothing to wear). I then make lunches for me and Travis, eat breakfast, and possibly iron his shirt, make the bed, do the dishes, and maybe read the Bible.

Travis stumbles out of bed half-awake around 6:30. He takes a shower for 10 minutes, then shaves, then gets dressed. He eats breakfast and reads his Bible for about 10-15 minutes. Then he grabs his lunch, puts it in his backpack, brushes his teeth, and is ready to leave.

So this morning, as usual, I was running around after eating breakfast, trying to get my running stuff together, brushing my teeth, making the bed, etc. The sink was piled high full of dishes. I was going to ask Travis to do the dishes but he was reading his Bible. Dishes aren’t more important than God…(although, if he shouldn’t be bothered to do the dishes instead of reading the Bible, then why should I be?) so I let him be.

I was a little bitter that Travis was reading while the dishes obviously had to be done (you literally couldn’t fit much else in the sink). But I realize he’s male and I’m female. What I notice, he doesn’t notice. What I think about, he doesn’t think about.

Proof of this: When I saw the pile of dirty dishes in the sink after breakfast, I made a mental note, “Must do dishes before going to work.”

When Travis saw the pile of dirty dishes in the sink after breakfast, he wondered, “Where I can find a spot for my plate?”

I just have to laugh at him. Men.

Call a spade a spade.

31 Jan

All female health bloggers: Stop right now.

I see so many gorgeous female bloggers who have amazing figures, entertaining blogs, and impressive race times constantly demean, lament and berate their so-called flaws. Even if they have ripped abs that most women would have to eat only spinach and do 600 sit-ups a day to get, they joke about their love-handles or flabby stomach. Uh, right. If they run 30 miles one week, they were such a slacker. Their 4:00 marathon time was horrible because they could only manage a 9:00 pace for 26.2 miles.

I’m mentioning this because I think this is something that we as women, and humans, are tempted to do: We’re so afraid of being called proud that we take pride in nothing.

This is something I learned from my Grandma Dee. The last few years of her life, she lived with my grandpa in an assisted living home. Like a nursing home, they had all kinds of activities going on, and lots of other people living in the same building. Every once in a while, my grandma would say something like, “Dorothy came over and sat with me at lunch again today. She just really likes talking to me.” At first, I was taken aback by her frankness. Nobody I knew talked like that – because {hush} it was prideful. But my grandma said it so matter-of-factly and moved off the subject so quickly that I kept thinking about it. She got away with saying it. Why? Because she was just stating the facts.

{source*}

The Urban Dictionary describes False Modesty as:

To tell everyone that what you did is bad, knowing all the way that what you did is good, just so everybody says the opposite.
Usually used by women.

EmoGothgirl666: OMG , My blog is crap.
EmoboyLestatDarkness: Don’t say that, it’s great!

The Wiktionary describes it as:

Behavior that is intended to seem humble but comes across as fake and unflattering.

Usage: “Although having a large ego is considered undesirable, at times it is proper to take credit where it is due rather than display false modesty.”

And I think that last sentence sums up my point perfectly.

Sure, no one wants to be boastful and self-absorbed. But c’mon. Call a spade a spade.

Not only do I not believe that you truly hate your abs of steel or think a 4-hour marathon is an absolutely pitiful time, your false modesty makes it seem like any stomach that can’t bounce a quarter or any turtle coming across the finish at 6 hours, 30 minutes is something to be even more ashamed of. If you’re complaining over what is almost unanimously the goal, standard or aim of others, what becomes of anything that falls short of that?

What about the women who hardly dare take their shirts off in front of their husbands?

What about the runners who have put their hearts and souls into training for athletic event of their life, only for the aid stations to be packing up by the time they get there?

The unfortunate side effect of false modesty is that all of those women who will never have a rock-hard stomach and never run a 4-hour, 5-hour, or even 6-hour marathon even up thinking, “Well, if she’s flabby and if she’s slow, then what am I?”

I’ll tell you what would be refreshing. A female runner who runs a 8:00 pace on an “easy recovery run” and is happy about it. A woman who has worked hard to tone her biceps to get excited over them without adding the caveat, “But I still have a loooooong way to go” or “There’s still toooooons of room for improvement.” A recovering chocoholic who makes it through the day with only one Oreo to rejoice over improvement, instead of gut out an extra 15 minutes on the elliptical because she has absolutely.no.willpower.

If you don’t want to gush and aw over your rockin’ bod or your killer time, I get it. But at the very least, don’t knock it. State the facts and make no judgments. Let the cards fall where they may.

If we as women want to create an environment of acceptance and body-love, then we have to STOP CRITICIZING ourselves instead of poking, pinching and lamenting our imperfections.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. (Marianne Williamson)

Delighting in who we are, what we’re capable of, and our accomplishments gives other people the permission to do the same. Be a source of inspiration to others.

What are your thoughts about pride and false modesty?

……………………..

*The sunrise is not actually ugly; I’m using it to illustrate how ludicrous false modesty is.